In the spirit of Domestic Electro, to celeberate the birth of my new baby boy and the erection of my new garden shed, two new songs are available from me via email - lyrics here (culled from much longer poems):
Kept Man
Lucubration candlelight,
My lovely little Crondallite!
Having a baby's a riot:
Having to think about diet –
'Bout fatty acids and vits;
'Bout cradle cap and scratch mitts;
Spooning Calpol onto the tongue,
While listening to Satchmo Armstrong.
I’m a kept man …
But I’m still handy in a fight.
Even the pennies I spend in the night
Were earned by my wife, not me:
She bought the diuretic tea
And the beer called Cheriton Best;
And I leave the toilet unflushed lest
The baby be disturbed.
Garden Shed
Shedspla! my shed:
Just once, let me find shortbread
In the shortbread tin, not screws;
Let the bolts in the jam jars bruise
Easily!
Kept Man
Lucubration candlelight,
My lovely little Crondallite!
Having a baby's a riot:
Having to think about diet –
'Bout fatty acids and vits;
'Bout cradle cap and scratch mitts;
Spooning Calpol onto the tongue,
While listening to Satchmo Armstrong.
I’m a kept man …
But I’m still handy in a fight.
Even the pennies I spend in the night
Were earned by my wife, not me:
She bought the diuretic tea
And the beer called Cheriton Best;
And I leave the toilet unflushed lest
The baby be disturbed.
Garden Shed
Shedspla! my shed:
Just once, let me find shortbread
In the shortbread tin, not screws;
Let the bolts in the jam jars bruise
Easily!
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